Do you have what it takes to be happy?
It’s time for true confessions. Answer yes or no to the following questions:
Do you …
… generally expect things to go well in your life?
… have loving, supportive friendships and other relationships?
… feel as though your life has a sense of purpose?
… approach new situations with a can-do spirit?
… feel like you have some control over your life?
… feel fairly challenged in your work or personal interests?
… often get caught up in an activity because it’s so enjoyable?
… practice some form of spirituality, religious or otherwise?
Your answers:
Now, add up your "yes" responses to see what your score means:
0-2: If happiness seems hard to come by, your attitude and outlook could be the holdup. Re-examine your beliefs on bliss to get back on track.
3-5: You’re almost there–you have some of the traits that contribute to happiness, but you may not be putting them to maximum use.
6-8: Congrats! Not only do you possess many qualities and attitudes that are connected with happiness, but–equally important–you know how to use them to enhance everyday joy.
Money, beauty, fame and admiration.
Add these up and you’ve got the formula for a lifetime of bliss, right? Wrong. The truth is, your financial status, external circumstances and life events account for no more than 15 percent of your happiness quotient, studies show.
What elements do make a difference? Surprisingly simple, internal factors such as having healthy self-esteem, a sense of optimism and hope, gratifying relationships and meaning and purpose in your life have the most influence, according to recent studies on what researchers call "subjective well-being."
If that sounds like a tall order, here’s the good news: Even if they don’t come naturally, many of the attitudes and thought patterns that influence happiness can be cultivated, which means you can boost your capacity for happiness today–and in the future. "Studies with twins reveal that happiness is somewhat like a person’s cholesterol level–it’s genetically influenced but it’s also influenced by some factors that are under our control," explains David Myers, Ph.D., a social psychologist at Hope College in Holland, Mich., and author of The Pursuit of Happiness (Harper-Collins, 1993). In other words, while your genetically determined temperament has a fairly strong influence on your happiness quotient, you can nudge it upward with the attitudes and approaches you bring to your life.
To develop a sunnier disposition, use the simple strategies outlined in the following Feel-Good Tool Kit, and you’ll be on your way to a richer, more satisfying life, starting this summer!
Your feel-good tool kit Turn that frown upside down with our eight bliss-boosting tips:
1. Develop an upbeat attitude. No, you don’t want to become a Pollyanna who overlooks problems and thinks everything is peachy even when it isn’t. But you do want to consciously focus on what’s positive in your life because this can engender a sense of optimism and hope. And research has found that happy people are brimming with these key ingredients: In one study at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, happy subjects were more hopeful about their wishes than their less sanguine peers. It’s not that their wishes came true more often, but the happy people expected them to come true.
When you approach life with an upbeat attitude, you set yourself up for greater joy and satisfaction. That’s because a positive state of mind gives you confidence and a sense of vitality, which helps make the expectation of happiness become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But "developing a positive outlook takes repeated practice, especially if you have gotten into the habit of being critical or looking on the dark side," says Ed Diener, Ph.D., distinguished alumni professor of psychology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.
The secret to turning your outlook around is to start thinking positively right now. How? By expecting to have a joyful summer (every day, not just when you’re on vacation); by identifying negative thoughts and countering them with positive or neutral ones (instead of viewing a mistake as a sign of incompetence, look at it as something you can learn from); and by embracing challenges (like parasailing or public speaking) instead of fearing them, realizing they’ll help you grow as a person.
2. Hang out with your favorite people. It’s as simple as this: Carving out as much time as you can to spend with people you value gives you a sense of connection, as well as a support system for when your luck heads south. And this is no small effect. Research at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign found that people who are consistently very happy have stronger romantic and social relationships than unhappy people.
"We’re social creatures by nature," says Louis H. Janda, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Va., and author of Are You Happy? (Perigee Books, 2004). "When you’re involved with others, it gives you a sense of belonging and lets you engage in mutually enjoyable activities, all of which can buffer you from stress."
3. Infuse your life with a sense of purpose. If you want to be happy, it is important to give your life meaning: Research at Middle Tennessee State University in Murfreesboro found that having a sense of purpose is a significant predictor of happiness and life satisfaction. To create a vision of what’s meaningful to you, ask yourself: What activities make me feel excited or enthusiastic? What do I want to be remembered for? What matters most to me? If you can articulate these desires to yourself, you can set specific goals to help you fulfill them. If you realize that your strongest desire is to become an influential teacher and role model, for example, you might set a goal of volunteering to help disadvantaged kids or of going back to school to get your teaching degree.
4. Get a new lease on life. So the weather was lousy for your weekend getaway, or your car got a flat on the way to work–no problem! Instead of fretting about unfortunate life events, set your sights on what you can control (managing your time and money well, staying fit and healthy, being a good friend) and you’ll feel as though you’re in the driver’s seat of your life. Not only does this give you a can-do spirit–the feeling that you have the will and the way to achieve your goals–it also bolsters your ability to bounce back from everyday adversity without a woe-is-me mentality.
"The biggest difference between happy and unhappy people is happy people think of solutions, not problems," says Maryann Troiani, Psy.D., a psychologist in Barrington, Ill., and co-author of Spontaneous Optimism: Proven Strategies for Health, Prosperity and Happiness (Castlegate Publishers, 2005). When you do swing into problem-solving mode, set goals for yourself and break them into smaller targets that will help you stay on track and increase your sense of control. For example, if you want to rebound from a financial setback, try saving more from each paycheck, upping the increment every month until you reach your goal.
5. Count your blessings, not your burdens.When people keep a gratitude journal, in which they jot down a daily list of what they appreciate in their lives, they experience a heightened sense of well-being, according to research at the University of California, Davis, and the University of Miami in Florida. "There’s a natural tendency to take things for granted, but if you stop and think of all the ways you are blessed, it doesn’t take long for the mind to use that as the new baseline for perceiving how happy you are," explains study co-author Michael E. McCullough, Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology and religious studies at the University of Miami.
6. Get engaged: no ring needed.Have you ever become so immersed in a pleasurable pursuit (whether it’s windsurfing, gardening, or drawing) that you’ve lost touch with what’s going on around you, including all sense of time passing? If so, you’re no stranger to what’s known as "flow," that magical state in which you become absorbed in an activity because it’s challenging, enjoyable and rewarding.
"Happiness comes from work and leisure activities that engage your skills and enable you to get caught up in what you’re doing and lose consciousness of your self," Myers says. It’s a matter of embracing challenges that push you to do your personal best without overwhelming you. The payoff? The more you can go with the flow, the more exhilarated and happier you’ll feel.
7. Recharge your energy and your spirits.Sure, exercise can work wonders in keeping your mood buoyant, but so can getting some simple R & R. "Happy people lead active, vigorous lives yet reserve time for restorative sleep and solitude," Myers says. Shortchange yourself of the shut-eye you need and it’s hard to enjoy much of anything when you’re exhausted. In a recent study involving more than 900 women, researchers assessed how happy women were based on their daily activities and found that sleep quality had a substantial influence over how much the women enjoyed life, even when they engaged in plenty of pleasurable activities like sex and socializing.
8. Put on a happy face! If you act as if you’re on cloud nine–by smiling with your mouth and eyes, speaking in a cheerful voice and walking confidently–going through the motions can trigger the actual emotion. There’s even science to prove it: A study at Fairleigh Dickinson University in Teaneck, N.J., found that when people forced themselves to smile or laugh, they experienced a substantial boost in mood afterward.
So start off this summer by acting like you’re walking on the sunny side of the street–even if it’s cloudy. Chances are, you’ll begin to feel a little happier after just a few steps!
